Portraits of Grace – Darlene Fanning

My name is Darlene Fanning and my family has been missionaries in Bolivia, South America, since 1999. We lived in Bolivia for 14 years, raising our three children there. My husband is now also the Latin and South American director for Anchor Baptist Missions International, with Bolivia being our main focus. So we do a lot of traveling back and forth.

I CAN TRUST JESUS

     A few months ago, I did a ladies meeting where the theme was “Stand in Awe…….Be Amazed.” So I started thinking of all the blessings that I have stood in awe of and have been amazed at how the Lord worked in them. I decided to look the word “Awe” up. I was surprised to find that the word awe can be used for fear and wonder. So then I started to think of the difficult times that I have faced that have made me stand in awe in fear! Of course, the one that came to my mind was….sitting in a doctor’s office in Bolivia, hearing the words, “I’m sorry you have malignant breast cancer. You need to get to the United States quickly because I’m afraid it has already spread.”

     It’s one of those moments you see your whole life pass in front of your eyes in a matter of seconds. That moment you feel as if you have been kicked in the stomach and the air you breathe is gone. It seemed the next few days were filled with phone calls to the states, travel arrangements, Dr. appointments, scans, and telling our family. Standing in awe with fear of what was to come but being amazed at how God already knew the outcome and knowing that HE had a plan.

     In the early morning after hearing those fearful words, the Lord woke me up. I’m not sure I had really been asleep. My husband also was awake and we just talked a little bit about everything and cried and prayed. And then our Lord so      graciously, put the words to the song by the Collingsworth family, I Can Trust Jesus, in my heart. The words gave such peace that I can’t explain. We listened to the song over and over, as our wonderful Savior ministered to my heart.

     The next year was filled with surgeries, chemo, radiation, and so much more. But God!! God gave that peace that passeth all understanding. Philippians 4:7 After finishing chemo and radiation, we returned to Bolivia, praying that life would go back to normal. Within six months another spot had come up and the doctor there feared the worst and thought I should get it checked in the states. Returning to the states was again a standing in awe moment. After having it removed and a complete hysterectomy they found yet another spot. My oncologist was confused at what was going on and no explanation why tumors kept coming up. So thankful they were all pre-cancerous!

     If I learned anything thru my cancer journey, it is that I can trust Jesus and you can too. No matter what you are facing, His love and care is so evident. It would take a book to tell about all the things HE has done and is still doing with my life through this. Sometimes we think we are trusting Him, when really we are still trying to hold on to the steering wheel.

     When I found my life was completely out of my control, and there was absolutely nothing that I could do; it was then, I found that I could trust Jesus with my greatest fear!!! The peace I found in Him by trusting Him gave such comfort, just knowing, no matter the outcome, HE had this all under control!! The song says it best, “I can trust Jesus, He never once has failed to meet my needs. He is my strong tower the strength in my weakest hour I can trust Jesus, He takes care of me!!“

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